What Support Looks Like
Sonja D. Gracy, author, playwright, and NYC public school teacher is currently working on her next book,God and the Girls.
The adage “A picture is worth a thousand words,” proved more than timely for a refreshing vision of spousal support. I and thousands of other LinkedIn social media connections recently applauded TheMoneyCoach.net Co-Founder Lynnette Khalfani-Cox, who posted a quick pic of her husband, Earl, prepping a meal for her prior to her scheduled media interview.
The bustling former CNBC Wall Street Journal reporter, New York Times bestselling author, media personality, wife, and mom said she simply planned to “grab something quick to eat” for a bit of vigor before her engagement, when Earl sprang into action preparing one of her favorite meals—salmon and green salad.
Lynnette’s LinkedIn post boldly blitzed the word “SUPPORT” in all caps underneath a real-time photo of Earl’s deft seasoning of pink salmon fillets near a basin of delish-looking leafy greens. “We don’t talk enough about supportive husbands who help their spouses achieve work and career goals by pitching in around the house…” she stated, then briefly described what ignited such attention to Earl’s gracious act of gourmet chivalry.
Earl’s seamless and selfless gesture, just one among the countless others they’ve shared in a symbiotically successful, nearly 20-year marriage, they were amazed by the surge of “likes” the post produced—well over 10,000—in just a few days.
Lynnette said she and Earl “were completely blown away by the feedback. Lots of people remarked they were touched by Lynnette’s public adulation of her husband’s efforts.
When I asked Lynnette why she felt her appreciative post resonated, she answered, “Often in marriage, people forget to say, ‘thank you’ or express gratitude for their mates.” Her post “made many people reflect for a moment and take stock of their own situation.” Lynnette said she received comments from women who took time out to tell her: “My husband is a great supporter, too,” while sharing their own helpful hubbies anecdotes. She believes another reason her post became an inspiring, viral sensation is partly because, “It represented an image that isn’t talked about or shared very much on social or traditional media,” as women vie to sustain in a still prevalent social framework. Lynnette says “women perform a disproportionate amount of household duties like cleaning and cooking.” Her husband’s “open-mindedness and team player mentality” are some of the qualities she loves most in Earl.
The seminal meeting that seeded the couple’s God-fated relationship back in 2003, happened when Lynnette, looking to self-publish her manuscript, met Earl, already a well-known book consultant entrepreneur, at the Los Angeles Book Expo. Their relationship began platonically at a Newark, NJ, airport luggage carousel, eventually blossoming into beautiful, mutually rewarding, wedded bliss. They merged their professional expertise to found TheMoneyCoach.net, and their love to produce three wonderful children.
Lynnette’s advice to other couples wanting to foster supportive marriages: “flexibility” and to “waive all preconceived notions of what a union involves because,” Lynnette remarked, “people and the world have evolved.” She also cautions couples to “over-communicate” and talk about “EVERYTHING.” SUPPORT—THIS is what it looks like!